Awhile back, I decided to do a short series on the varying levels of presentation in sale horses. We started off with Poor presentation, which you can find here.
Now, again featuring the lovely McKinna as our model, let's examine Good presentation! I know I said in the first post that this one would be called 'Average,' but let's face it, Average ads these days are 3 sentences on Craigslist. So, without any further ado:
McKinna is a 13 year old QH/Arab mare, 14.3 hands. She has a very sweet and intelligent personality, and she's very versatile. Main focus is eventing right now. She competed in Oregon High School Equestrian Teams for 2 years in english and western and gaming. She is good on trails and has schooled XC at Inavale - loves the water complex! Would be a perfect Pony Club mount. Loads/ties/clips/bathes, UTD on everything. $3000.
More pictures available, please email or call for more information.
When you email me, I will respond within a couple days. I will tell you a little bit about what I've done with her, explain what level she's schooling and showing at, probably tell you that she's an easy keeper and is happiest with turnout. I'll send you a few more pictures, action shots and just standing. I'll make a joke about how she's grey so she loves to roll in mud. I will probably ask you what you're looking to use her for, but I probably won't ask you for references or for a description of where you will board.
Okay - this is a pretty good ad. We've got three pictures - jumping, regular under saddle, and a somewhat well-posed conformation shot. I've given the buyer important information: age, sex, breed, height. I've noted her varied background but shown that our main focus is eventing.
I've thrown in the obligatory load/tie/clip/bathe/UTD statements.
In general, this presents a pretty solid picture. There is enough information here to give the buyer a good summary of the horse in order to determine if further inquiry is going to happen. She's clean in the pictures and they show her doing what I say she does.
This being said, what improvements could be made? These are subtle, but can make a big difference.
- Jumping photo: she is safe and neat, but not her best. It's a low fence and she's twisting a little, and her forelegs aren't as high as they normally are. It's also from head-on; preferable jumping shots are from the side or a 45-degree angle.
- Conformation shot: this gives you a good idea of her conformation, but it could be improved. The clunky longeing caveson obscures her head, she's at a slight angle, and she's standing a bit awkwardly.
- Background info: instead of "english and western and gaming," more specifics would be preferable. Also, you'll notice I neglected to state how high she jumps, which is usually a consideration when buying a jumper!
- Video: Notice that there isn't one. This is not a dealbreaker for most people - if they like the horse, they'll come see it anyway - but can be a nice touch.
In all, this is a good quality ad and would serve any horse well.
Next time, we'll go all-out: clean, braided horse, carefully written ad, thoughtfully set-up conformation shot, and high-quality flatwork and jumping pictures. It may take awhile to put together, because I'm not sure I *have* high-quality jumping and flatwork pictures ;-)
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